Ok. I need to breathe. Saw something on fb again. A little of 打击 to me.

A little. =.=

Supposed to be doing my report now, but i guess i'll just rattle for awhile before moving back to my work. I need some time to calm my state of mind now. lol.

Its a really weird personality of mine. Sometimes i know certain things will hurt me if i see them but i still choose not to block/delete certain ppl. Its a "im-curious-though-i-will-bleed-to-death" kind of mentality. I wanna see how's the person is doing but at the same time i know very well that i'll get the prick at my heart if i see the updates.

Very contradicting. Very sadist.

Its the same like ppl already told me there's a wall ahead and be careful not to bang on it, although i heard them, i still bang into the wall and check if it really hurts. lol. Or else, i guess i wont be convince though the fact is so obvious. Weird right? I think this pt of mine is really weird. Maybe im enjoying self-torture subconsciously. lol.

Been doing so much of self-evaluation recently... Sometimes i dont uds myself. lol. Do u uds me? If anybody does, pls tell me. Could be very useful to me.. Pull me out of this complicated maze of confusion in my head. lol.

Some time back, yuting and tk bought me a yellow elmo that i named Elting (ELmo+ yu TING = ELTING hahaha). And the reason for this sudden gift is because yt wants me to find a kind of 心灵慰藉 from Elting. hahaha. U know i know la huh.. haha!

So instead of ending up punching at plushies every time i wake up, i can look at Elting and smile. hehe~ =)

SM, Elting and me! Elting is super cute~~~ ^^ we're also equally cute. HAHA.

Elting with the pretty peach ice cream from Italy. Aww~ so sweet~ =)

I think im more optimistic recently. Hopefully its not a form of self-denial. Hopefully im not deceiving myself. lol.

That day, one of my friends said something to me. My friend thought what he said might hurt me, but i felt ok at the moment. And im still feeling ok now. Even im amazed myself that i remained so.. "unharmed" from what he said. I believed i had a stronger heart now from the waves of 'tsunami' that i experienced.

Good. I'll be strong. I can do it. =)

Oh well.. I feel better now. 平常心，平常心. Better in time. =)

Hmm....

Oh. I uds. Friends with benefits...