I think 2012 is really a year that i grew up a lot, and i learned so many things, in a very cruel and harsh way.

I used to be a girl that doesnt know how fortunate i am, how much i'm being cared for and loved. I took everything for granted until i lost everything. All the love and concern just evaporated without a trace. It's really painful, so painful I almost feel like disappearing from this world so that my pain can be gone. 

This is all so hard to for me to accept. I always told people that they should cherish me and in fact, i'm the one that is not cherishing them. And all of these happened because I am too full of myself.     

I believed that after all these traumas, I am already a changed person. I've already learned my lesson, but everything seems to be too late. What done is can't be undone. There's no turning back. No chance for me to take back my words or redo the actions I've taken. 

Do I regret?

Yes, definitely. I regretted for not giving my love in the right way to the person who really cares, and devoting myself for people who isn't even worth a drop of my tears. But there's nothing much that i can do about what had already happened. Sometimes I just hoped that things can be back to what it used to be. I'll try to let go of the past that's continuously coming back to haunt me and move on. 

I believe I can. 

I have 2 friends facing the same problems that i once faced. Looking at their situation is just like looking at the shadows of my past. 

For the girl, hope you can make a clear choice. Sometimes, considering too much about how the other party's feeling may not be doing good for the person. Take firm actions that will help them not for only the time being, but for their distant future. Also, cherish all the love that's around you and treat them in a way that's good for them. 

For the guy, if something that you are going for is no longer making you happy, what for u go for it? If you are tired, take a break and reconsider if this is what you really want. When you reach a dead end in a maze, don't just stand there complaining why you were led there. Find an alternative way to get out of the maze! Life is short, enjoy life and be happy! :)

As for myself, I wont force anything to happen now. All I hoped for is for all my loved ones to be happy  and healthy! :D

After reading everything I just mentioned above and just in case you are starting to picture me as an angelic person with a heart of gold and visualising me with a holy ring of light around me, STOP. cos... for people that once wasted my time, i wish that they can... 

BURN IN HELL. 

Welcome. :)